Sunday, June 1, 2008

Why?!?

Often, we question the untoward events in our lives... We ask why things don't happen according to our plans... We are dumbfounded by the sudden change in status quo...

Just yesterday, the fiance of my friend passed away due to heart attack... Who would have thought that a first time myocardial infarction would occur in a 30-year old, non-obese, non-smoker? And worst, for it to be fatal... And now we have questions lingering on our minds... Why him? Why now? Why?!

Sometimes, the answer is a given... If we are lucky, we will see the other side of the story and realize why God allowed things to happen... But sometimes, just like yesterday, we just can't comprehend God's mysterious ways... A seamless relationship had to end -- forever... Why?!?

But life is not questioning God but accepting His will... That brings us to our faith in Him... Whatever happens in our life, He is in control... And we can never falter...

For us still here, we are reminded of our existence in this world...
... that life can end anytime and we may not even reach the realization of our dreams...
... that life is so short to be filled with sadness and regrets...
... that life should be lived with happiness and joy...
... that we should try to touch the lives of others through your own lives; coz in the end, it's not our achievements that are remembered, but the goodness we've shown to others...
... that we must leave good memories in every person that we meet; so that even if we must go ahead, our memory will live in their hearts......
... that God has a reason for everything and no human mind can comprehend that...
... that this world is not our permanent dwelling place; our journey and struggle goes on to make us closer to Paradise...

We ask God, "Why?"... God tells us, "Why not? It's for the best anyway!"

Monday, April 21, 2008

on letting go... and letting God...

Just want to share God's message for me last April 20, 2008 from Kerygma...

Until Love Lets Go
Imagine that you were one of the Twelve Apostles. You left home, family, trade, and whatnot and followed Jesus who came from Nazareth, a place from where, nothing good ever comes. You went everywhere Jesus went. You heard His teachings and believed everything He said. If ever you had doubts about the sanity and truthfulness of Jesus, you had many chances to leave Him, but you remained with Him. Now, He is saying goodbye. How would you feel?

Then Jesus says, “Do not let your heart be troubled.” His words do not seem to help ease your hurt, do they? Letting go is such a painful process that words — no matter how beautiful and sincere they are— can even intensify the sting of separation. No matter how much we are assured that the separation is only temporary, we still believe that it is better for people we love to be physically present.

But love is not love until it lets go. One who professes love but refuses to let go is not a lover. He is a parasite. Letting go is the ultimate test of love. In the Gospel today, both Jesus and the apostles needed to let go. But their mutual letting go did not mean abandonment or betrayal. Their letting go was the ultimate challenge of their love for one another. Jesus had to let go of His apostles for their sake. The apostles must let go of Jesus so He could complete the mission entrusted to Him by the Father. From then on, the love between Jesus and His disciples – you and I included – would have to grow with faith and hope.

Love demands faith and is nourished by hope. Our faith convinces us what our physical reality fails to prove: Jesus is here with us. Our hope sustains us where human expectation falls short: Jesus will come again and take us with Him to paradise. Faith, hope, and love as St. Paul wrote, are the things that last to the end; and the greatest of them is love. But love is not love until it lets go. -Fr. Bobby Titco
7|1 4|3 2|1 IT'S NOT LETTING GO... BUT LOVING YOU MORE... I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH...
Refection:
Let go and let God.

the joy in waiting... christmas and healing...

This is the manuscript of my Gospel (Matthew 11:2-11) reflections which I delivered at the Malate Catholic Church during the Misa de Gallo last December 16, 2007.

Pagninilay-nilay Para sa Unang Araw ng Misa De Gallo

Magandang umaga po sa inyong lahat! Ako po si Alex Gavino, isang manggagamot at miyembro ng choir dito sa parokya.

Tanda ko pa ang isang naging pasyente ko noong ako ay nasa ika-apat na taon ng pag-aaral ng medisina sa PGH. Si Lola Florentina ay pitumpu't apat na taong gulang na at nagkaroon ng komplikasyon sa puso at baga. Nagbabantay sa kanya ang kanyang asawa na halos kasing edad din niya - si Lolo Juan. Etong si lola ay may kasungitan dala na rin ng kanyang nararamdaman ngunit araw araw ay matiyagang binabantayan ni lolo ang kanyang maybahay. Walang anak na dumalaw sa buong pagtigil niya sa ospital kung kaya’t silang dalawa lamang ang palaging magkasama. Paminsan minsan, dala ng katarantahan sa mga pinapagawa ng mga doktor kay lolo, natutulala na lamang siya. Ngunit hindi kailanman nawala si Lolo Juan sa tabi ni Lola Florentina. Hindi ako ang mismong doktor ni Lola Florentina dahil mag-aaral pa lamang ako ngunit paminsan-minsan ay kinakausap ko siya, pati na rin si lolo upang pagaanin ang kanilang loob. Di lumaon ay lumala ang sitwasyon ng sakit ni lola at siya ay binawian ng buhay. Nang matapos ang lahat ng pag-aayos sa bangkay ni Lola Florentina, dumaan ako sa kanyang hinihigaang kama upang siya ay ipagdasal. Doon ko nakita ang umiiyak na asawa - si Lolo Juan. Nilapitan ko siya upang bigyan ng simpatiya. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang sinabi niya sa akin: "Doktor, maraming salamat po sa pag-alaga niyo sa aking asawa. Hindi ko po alam kung ano na ang mangyayari sa akin ngayong wala na siya. Palagi ko po siyang kasama simula pagkabata." Halo-halong emosyon ang aking naramdaman sa sinabi ni lolo. Nahiya ako nang nagpasalamat pa rin siya sa akin kahit na nagkaroon ng ilang pagkakataon na napagsabihan ko siya dahil sa kanyang katarantahan. Nandun din yung pagkamulat na hindi ko kailangang maging isang ganap na doktor upang makapag-aruga sa isang nangangailangan. Kahit na ang simpleng pakikipag-usap sa kanila ay nakakapagbigay ng kagaanan ng loob sa isang pasyente. At higit sa lahat, doon ko nakita ang tunay na pagmamahal ng isang asawa sa kanyang maybahay.

Ngayong naghahanda tayo sa pagdating ni Kristo sa araw ng Pasko, sinisimulan muli natin ang siyam na araw na Misa de Gallo upang ihanda ang ating mga puso. Ngunit hindi natin kailangang hintayin ang Pasko upang maramdaman natin ang presensiya ng Panginoon sa ating buhay. Isang hamon para sa ating mga Kristiyano na maging isang Kristo para sa ating kapwa. Totoo nga na nabigyan ako ng pagkakataon upang mapadama sa aking pasyente ang presensiya ni Kristo dahil sa aking propesyon - nakakatulong ako sa mga may sakit, napapagaling ko sila. Isa lamang akong instrumento upang maihatid ang kanyang pagpapagaling sa mga nangangailangan. Ngunit hindi natin kailangang maging isang doktor para maipadama natin ang presensiya ni Hesus sa ating kapwa. Marahil dahil sa mga makabagong medisina, masasabing ang mga sinasabi ni Kristo sa ebanghelyo ay natutupad - ang mga bulag ay nakakakita, nakakalakad ang mga pilay, nakakarinig ang mga bingi. Ngunit hindi natin kailangang maging doktor upang magawa ang lahat ng ito. Kung tayo ay magiging mapag-aruga sa isang taong madilim ang pananaw sa buhay dahil sa problema, marahil siya ay maliliwanagan at makakakita. Kung tayo ay tutulong sa isang kapwang nahulog at nawalan na ng pag-asa, marahil siya ay makakalakad muli para humarap sa buhay. At kung tayo ay magsasalita ng mabuti sa ating kapwang nalilihis ng landas, marahil siya ay makakarinig muli at susunod sa yapak ng Diyos. Tayong lahat ay binigyan ng Panginoon ng kapasidad upang maging Kristo sa bawat isa dahil nilikha niya tayo ayon sa kanyang kawangis. Kung kaya’t kailangan lamang nating maging bukas loob sa isa’t isa.

Gayundin, gaya ng Misa De Gallo na paghahanda sa pagdating ni Hesus, ang ating buhay ay dapat maging paghahanda rin para sa Kanyang ikalawang pagdating. Sa kabila ng lahat ng mga problema at suliranin na ating nakikita sa ating paligid, kailangan tayong maging matiyaga at tapat sa ating pananampalataya na si Kristo ay magiging tapat sa Kanyang pag-ibig sa atin. Marahil higit pa sa pagtitiyaga at pagmamahalan nina Lolo Juan at Lola Florentina. Kailangan tayong maging Kristo para sa bawat isa. At maging Juan Bautista para sa mga hindi pa nakakakilala kay Hesus.

Sa ating pag-uwi ngayong unang araw ng Misa de Gallo – at sa kabuuang siyam na araw ng Misa de Gallo - tayo ay magalak sa paghihintay. Gaya ng galak na nararamdaman ng isang inang nagdadalang-tao ng siyam na buwan. Ito ang magbibigay sa atin ng tunay na Diwa ng Pasko dahil sa paghihintay, nagkakaroon ng kahulugan ang hinihintay.

Isang makabuluhang Pasko sa inyong lahat. Maraming salamat po.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

health and human values...

Reaction on "Health and Human Values in the Basic and Clinical Sciences" which I delivered during the 3rd Centennial Colloquium of the UP College of Medicine last July 29, 2005. The speakers were Dr. Alberto Romualdez, Jr. and Dr. Antonio O. Periquet.


To our distinguished speakers, esteemed mentors, fellow medical students, guests, ladies and gentlemen - good morning.

First of all, I would like to thank the organizers of this activity and the Department of Rehabilitation Medicine for inviting me to be one of the reactors for this 3rd Centennial Colloquium of the UP College of Medicine Centennial Celebrations. I don’t know if this is just a coincidence because the department invited me last March 2005 to be a reactor on the bioethics topic of spiritual values in medicine. Now, I will be reacting on the topic of human values in medicine.

When I received the invitation for this colloquium, I was both hesitant and willing to accept the task of being a reactor. Hesitant because I will be reacting pro- or against the colloquy of two of the big names in the Department of Health – Dr. Alberto Romualdez, Jr. and Dr. Antonio Periquet. I was thinking, what can the experiences of a mere medical undergraduate, still on his first quarter of internship, compare to the wisdom and experiences of legends in the history of the college and the country? But then again, in times when the developments in the science of medicine has exponentially grown, I feel that the art of medicine – including human values – should still be emphasized, especially to us, the younger ones who aspire to follow the footsteps of our mentors. And so, thinking that this can be an avenue to stress this point, I accepted the invitation.

I would like to commend Dr. Alberto Romualdez, Jr. and Dr. Antonio Periquet for the extensive discussion of human values in the basic and clinical sciences, respectively. Never did I realize that the name Dr. Periquet, whom I usually hear over the radio when I was in Grade 5 or 6, or Dr. Romualdez, whom I saw on TV in 2001 during the height of President Estrada’s impeachment, be addressing us here today. Little did I know that I would be here now as a student of the UP College of Medicine because in 2001, I was just applying here at the college.

I believe that at the time of admission to the College of Medicine, each new student has already a set of values which he imbibed and developed for the past 20 years of his/her life. They may be good or bad. However, it is hard to instruct someone to change his/her values especially if they believe that they are intelligent would-be doctors as those students studying here now or the alumni practicing in the country or abroad.

At first, I thought that there are not much human values in the basic sciences, since there are less patient interactions when undergoing these subjects. At most, the things that I could recall are those lectures in bioethics by our Dean, Dr. Cecilia Tomas, during our 1st and 2nd years in medical school, wherein the values of beneficence, non-malefecence, autonomy, and justice were discussed. However, Dr. Romualdez showed us that in everything that we do in our basic sciences, there is a human value that is being developed. I did not realize until now that I was developing human values even in Anatomy or Biochemistry. Maybe it was just not evident because I am used to the usual learning by lectures or didactics. True enough, what is essential is invisible to the eye. And I thank Dr. Romualdez for influencing me to look at the deeper meaning of what we are doing while still young and while still in med school. Now, I could give meaning to the experiences and hardships I passed through in my four years of medical education.

On the other hand, reacting to the topic on “Health and Human Values in the Clinical Science” for me was easy – that’s what I thought at first. I said, maybe that’s why they invited a medical intern – among the students in the college, we are exposed more to the Clinical Sciences. However, when I saw the lecture of Dr. Periquet two days ago, I was a bit overwhelmed by some of the technical terms. I forgot that our distinguished speaker was a former Secretary of Health, and so, clinical practice for him was not only a single patient-doctor relationship, but as a doctor to the country. And so, health care system and health policies came into play. But upon further analysis of his lecture, the health care crisis that he mentions stems from the basic human values that are at often times neglected – equity, fairness and social justice. I believe that the UP College of Medicine has introduced her students to these values through its basic and clinical sciences, the Community-Oriented Medical Education (COME), and the Department of Family and Community Medicine. I appreciate this because not all medical schools are given this chance to have a heightened social responsibility not only to a particular community, but to the country as well. Maybe I need more experiences to be able to converse better on issues that are on a larger scale because as of now, the largest experience I’ve got is the Philippine General Hospital.

And so, let me concentrate my reaction on the experiences of a medical intern since we have in our audience medical students like me eager to become doctors. Let me share some of my experiences on human values that you might experience in the near future.

During the early parts of our medical education, YL III to V, we are often idealistic in our values. Get a good grasp of that because when you become clerks, interns, residents and even consultants, your values may be altered somehow. Like for example, in PGH, there is a practice called “Robinhood.” Because of the current health crisis wherein funds are not allocated to health, there is shortage of supplies for our charity patients. Therefore, we medical clerks and interns, are forced to prescribe more than enough medical supplies to one patient who can afford in order to use the excess supplies for other charity patients who do not have enough money to afford quality health care. We do this to give not quality care to the needy but simply just to care for them.

In PGH, we rotate at frontliner departments such as the Department of Emergency Medicine and Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. It sometimes pains us to see that we have to turf patients away because we do not have enough facilities or beds to accommodate them.

In our early years, we hated interns or residents shouting at the patients but sometimes, we find ourselves and other co-interns doing the same because of the environment and toxicity we have in PGH. PGH brings out the worst in people.

Knowledge and skills are also important, as what Dr. Periquet has mentioned. When we were in 3rd year, if a resident tells us to request for blood chemistry for diagnostics, we would order the gamut of BUN, Crea, Na, K, Cl, etc. If you are equipped with the knowledge, you would only order what you need. If its only hemoglobin you want, you could order Hemoglobin & Hematocrit and not the entire complete blood count. This would minimize the expenses that our patients have to pay.

Finally, it saddens me that we get referrals from private hospitals sending patients to us because of financial constraints. People go to PGH because they think it is free but when they arrive, we have to send them to other government hospitals because we don’t have enough resources to cater to the entire country.

The challenge for us is that we always check if what we are doing is still aligned with the values we developed early on in life. Values taught to us by our parents, primary and secondary education and even medical education.

Before I end this reaction, may I just share a thought that came into my mind this morning while preparing for this reaction. I am one of those persons bothered by the increase in the number of UPCM graduates who go out of the country after graduation. I am not against this but sometimes I feel disheartened by the fact that there are more people needing the medical attention of UP doctors. Why go out? And then I realize what was mentioned before. Students enter the college of medicine with a set of values. We are indeed lucky if we get students who have the values of nationalism and service toward fellow countrymen. However, sometimes, we get students who value financial gain more, and they think that being a physician would help them attain that. I hope now they realize its not. And so, it is not a failure of the college if ever, our graduates go out. I believe that the medical education the UP College of Medicine has prepared for us in both the basic and clinical sciences has affected a lot… those present in this hall, those in the Philippine General Hospital, those working in the rural and even those practicing abroad. Sometimes, we realize our value of service and nationalism early on after graduation and choose to stay in the country… sometimes later on and help by donating to the college, like the UPMASA… but still, I salute the UP College of Medicine for making us human, socially aware, in the midst of the advances in the science of medicine. Now more than ever, I am proud to be part of this noble and time-honored institution. For it does not only prepare us to be good clinicians, but it also exposes us to the different values which will help us become the physician, caring and compassionate for the underserved. We are equipped with the values in life, but we are also given the freedom to choose which values to uphold. It is our choice. Thank you.